Now, as you all are WELL aware, there aren't any "rocks" that I got. I am not famous. I am not wealthy, or at least not as the world may view wealth (materialistic/money/cars/houses/etc). I also didn't physically come from The Bronx, or the projects, or the streets. I grew up very differently. The reason I named this post "I'm Still Jenny From the Block" is completely different than the actual lyrics of the song. However, I think the principle could still remain...and, I thought it was kinda funny! (Truth be told!)
It wasn't that long ago that I was talking with another Christian about his personal journey. He hadn't been a Christian all that long, maybe 4 or 5 years. He talked about the things he did before he met Christ. How he lived however he wanted. He didn't care who he hurt, and had great revenge for those who hurt him. He was married for a long time, but after more than a decade it began to fall apart. He began to drink. It started as a way to get back at his nagging wife. He did it to spite her. Eventually what he used as an act of spite turned into an addiction and he became an alcoholic. He would get into bar fights, would curse a lot, struggled with adult material, he got divorced. He went bankrupt and pretty much lost everything he had. This was all before he came to know Christ.
Now that he has found Christ, he has chosen to submerge himself into Scriptural studies. He has been sober for almost 5 years. He still struggles with certain things, but he makes sure to deal with them immediately, and confess them to God. He strives for a restored relationship with Christ. He has good intentions. The problem is...it seems he has forgotten where he came from. It seems as if pride has creeped in, and compassion has been extinguished.
We were hanging out one night, and were walking the main streets of this little town. It was getting later and we had just left a pizza place, where we had spent a little time eating, laughing, and getting to know each other. We had leftover pizza and we boxed it up. As soon as we stepped outside of the pizza place, a homeless man approached us. He asked if he could have a piece of pizza. My first instinct was to say yes, however, I didn't pay for it! So I just looked at my friend, and he abruptly said NO. When the man walked away, my friend was so disgusted that this man asked for food. Thoughts in my head were...How dare he ask for food...I mean, he's homeless. What was he thinking? (<<<insert sarasm!>>>) I didn't pay for the pizza, therefore I smiled and moved on!
Don't misunderstand my point. No, I don't think you are a bad person if you have leftovers and you choose not to share them with a homeless person. It's your choice. My point is, my friend's response to this homeless man kinda put me off. I mean, who are we to judge someone for being homeless? He has to survive. Therefore he will put his pride down and ask for food. I guess it was more the attitude of my friend that made me a little annoyed. He almost laughed disgustingly at this man. As if we were better. No one is better or worse in God's eyes! Plus, I know what it is like to have missed a few meals, not intentionally, but because I simply didn't have the money for it. It took a lot of guts for this grown man to ask someone for food. I haven't ever been homeless, and I haven't ever gone a long time without food, nor have I had to ask anyone for it...but I could relate to a very tiny part of this man's reality.
Later that evening we were walking this little city's streets. There were a lot of people getting intoxicated around us. When people are intoxicated...aka drunk off their buttawshkies...they do stupid things. We ducked into a coffee shop to enjoy a moment of quiet. As my friend was waiting to get out of a door, this intoxicated man wouldn't move. This drunk guy thought it was funny to pin my friend in. Not so much! My friend stiff shouldered this guy so hard that it forced him against the wall. My friend came back to the table so proud of what he did. How is that showing others...especially someone who is clearly not thinking straight...that Jesus loves them? My friend said that this jerk had no right to block him in and he even dared to laugh at him. All I could think was...yeah, kinda like we have done to Christ. We left quickly as now OUR safety was in jeaopardy. And personally, I am not in the mood to fight anyone...EVER! As we left, we came across more people who were clearly publically intoxicated. My friend was utterly disgusted with these people's actions. He looked down upon them, as if we were better than these people.
Pride and Christianity do not belong in the same sentence. Jesus was humble. He humbly died on the cross for our sins. He loves each and every one of us. He sees us as perfect in His eyes. No sin is greater than another. We, in our world where we tend to departmentalize just about everything, would tend to disagree with this fact. God sees sin as sin. No sin is greater or smaller.
I just wanna be "Jenny from the block". I want to be real. I want to exude Christ. I want to allow Christ to shine through me so much that others feel loved and accepted. I never want to forget where I have been and where I come from. It is through my deepest hurt and my darkest struggle that I am able to understand people more and how to empathize with other friends who are also hurting and struggling. I have a love for other people. Not just Christians. I love people. I am a friend. I long to point others to Christ. I haven't always desired to be a good example, or for others to even know that I was a Christian. Now, I just want to be who I am in Christ, serve God, love people WHERE THEY ARE AT, and help any way I can. I pray that God will break any pride that I may ever have. I am not a judge...nor do I wish to be a judge. I wish to love and be a friend. God is so good and wishes for everyone to experience His unconditional love.
If you are a friend of mine and you don't know what I mean by being a Christian, you don't understand why I talk about God, "serving" God, or what it means to be loved unconditionally by such a gracious God...send me a message. You can email me at: mycardboardbox@live.com. I will keep your email confidential, and would be happy to share more about my faith, if you are interested. =) I love all my dear friends.
**singing, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block"..........
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