We all have either spoken or unspoken expectations of other people...those expectations may even be subconscious...and the person with whom we expect certain attainable or unattainable things may or may not have any idea of it! I think sometimes we put someone on a high pedestal, whether spiritual or professional, making it almost impossible for that person to be who they really are...or even worse, when we find that they may not be that "spiritual giant" that we so graciously labeled them to be, we become disappointed with them or even in some cases angry with them.
Psalm 62:5 says this, "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him." God already knew that we would put unattainable expectations on other people, and even upon ourselves. He wants us to be patient (which I am sooooo not), to wait upon Him...and He gives us permission to have expectations of Him. For instance, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God made a way for me to move to NYC. I know that He has a plan for me here. Do I know the exact plan? No! That's where the patient aspect comes in...you know, the part I am really not that great at! So, I am waiting for whatever He has for me to unfold, and I believe it has already revealed itself here and there. I am waiting for God to help me find a job...now this doesn't mean that I am just sitting here twiddling my thumbs expecting God to drop an amazing job out from the heavens and that I will hear angel voices singing "hallelujah" when it happens...however, it would be so much easier that way! I am working hard at putting out my resume, contacting places that are hiring, and making sure I am putting myself out there! So, I am doing my part and just waiting for God to complete it. That is where my expectation comes from. God says if we are seeking Him, He promises that He will provide for us and give us the desires of our heart.
If you are like me and you find yourself placing unnecessary and unfair expectations upon other people or upon yourself...try to remember Ps. 62:5 and instead reroute that expectation to God. He is big enough to handle any expectations that we may have in this life.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Are You For Real??
One of my biggest pet peeves are religious Christians. The Christians who are more concerned about WHAT they are doing as opposed to WHO they are serving. Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't be concerned and most definitely not saying that you should just do whatever you want...what I am saying is this...Christianity is not about being religious...rather it is about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. From that relationship comes growth and love and genuine faith. Also, being a Christian is not about being other people's conscience. We are placed in this world to be a witness, an encouragement, and most of all a real friend to those who are hurting. Now, this doesn't just mean that you are to be an encouragement only to those who don't follow Christ...but even our own "brothers" and "sisters" in Christ need that love that is extended from God. God loves us unconditionally...He doesn't put a different emphasis on one sin and a lesser emphasis on another sin...Sin is sin is sin is sin...they are all the same in His sight! We are not without sin! None of us! It is only by God's grace that we are forgiven over and over. So, why aren't we willing to extend that same grace to others?
We need to love others...we need to live our lives filled with God's grace...I want to be a person who loves and is known for loving others. Try to look at other people through God's eyes. Who are we to judge others? We shouldn't judge other people, we should take the time to look at our own lives instead of being obsessed with what other people are doing. Use prayer as a catalyst between you and other people...not mean words or judgmental glances. Life is precious. We need to live our lives to its fullest...I don't think sitting around and judging other people will enhance a full life! What do you think?
(picture by inkedbyjen-jms)
We need to love others...we need to live our lives filled with God's grace...I want to be a person who loves and is known for loving others. Try to look at other people through God's eyes. Who are we to judge others? We shouldn't judge other people, we should take the time to look at our own lives instead of being obsessed with what other people are doing. Use prayer as a catalyst between you and other people...not mean words or judgmental glances. Life is precious. We need to live our lives to its fullest...I don't think sitting around and judging other people will enhance a full life! What do you think?
Sunday, July 17, 2011
It's All Gooood...
I had the amazing opportunity to go to The Brooklyn Tabernacle today...This has been my second visit since being here in the City and let me tell you, God is so awesome in that place! Wow!!! I just cannot put into words (though I will try) how amazing it is to see so many people from so many cultural backgrounds all worshiping together in harmony. The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir sang today and my soul was moved! It was incredible! Check out these pictures that I found online!
Tonight's service was a little unique in the fact that instead of Pastor Jim Cymbala preaching, there was a guest speaker. Her name was Christine Caine. She is part of an amazing movement to stop human trafficking in our world. It is called the A21 Campaign. Please check out their website: http://www.thea21campaign.org/...also check out this CNN interview with Christine enlightening the world about the tragedy of human trafficking in our world: http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/16/abolishing-sex-slavery-by-helping-one-girl-at-a-time/
Tonight, Christine spoke on the passage II Kings 7:3-6...There are four lepers who were completely defeated during the time of a great famine. They were at the gate of the city and were confident that they would surely die. At that moment they had a choice to make...either stay defeated at the gate, remain stooped down, poor posture...or they could get up, move forward, and possibly live. They really had nothing to lose. If they stayed at the gate, they had a 99.9% chance of dying...it was practically inevitable...or they could enter into the city and have a .01% chance of living...either way they had nothing to lose!
When you stand up and move...change your posture from a defeated and overwhelmed stature...God begins to move on your behalf! When we allow God to move us, whatever our "gate of defeat" may be, we will have the victory over that "gate". We need to rise up and change our posture and ultimately know our place in Christ Jesus. God has a purpose for each and every one of us!
The very thing that Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy-God wants to use to help others! We are His workmanship!!! Did you know that even though you may have always been told that you don't measure up, you aren't wanted, you aren't qualified - that God says differently? Did you know that we can stand on the Truth...God's Word. He says in John 8:31-32 that "...the truth shall set you free."
So, what might your "gate" be? I know for me, my "gate" has been my past. I have allowed my past to weigh me down and keep me captive and under unnecessary bondage. God has forgiven me, He has moved forward, and is ready to use me for the good. I have allowed certain moments in my past to define me...I must stop living at the gate of defeat. The blood of Jesus (when He died upon the cross for the sins of the world) doesn't give us amnesia! The blood of Jesus, however, gives us freedom from our past! I who have been rescued now has the responsibility to rescue others. Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." It's not about what I am NOT...it is about who He is! The very thing that has kept us on the sidelines of life are the very things that God wants to use for GOOD!
So, my dear friends, stand up...look forward...and realize that God has something really great in store for you. He promises us in Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" God has begun a good work in us...and He promises us that He will be faithful to complete it! He will never abandon us (even when we are confident that He has)...and He will use our bad and turn it into good!
Tonight's service was a little unique in the fact that instead of Pastor Jim Cymbala preaching, there was a guest speaker. Her name was Christine Caine. She is part of an amazing movement to stop human trafficking in our world. It is called the A21 Campaign. Please check out their website: http://www.thea21campaign.org/...also check out this CNN interview with Christine enlightening the world about the tragedy of human trafficking in our world: http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/16/abolishing-sex-slavery-by-helping-one-girl-at-a-time/
Tonight, Christine spoke on the passage II Kings 7:3-6...There are four lepers who were completely defeated during the time of a great famine. They were at the gate of the city and were confident that they would surely die. At that moment they had a choice to make...either stay defeated at the gate, remain stooped down, poor posture...or they could get up, move forward, and possibly live. They really had nothing to lose. If they stayed at the gate, they had a 99.9% chance of dying...it was practically inevitable...or they could enter into the city and have a .01% chance of living...either way they had nothing to lose!
When you stand up and move...change your posture from a defeated and overwhelmed stature...God begins to move on your behalf! When we allow God to move us, whatever our "gate of defeat" may be, we will have the victory over that "gate". We need to rise up and change our posture and ultimately know our place in Christ Jesus. God has a purpose for each and every one of us!
The very thing that Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy-God wants to use to help others! We are His workmanship!!! Did you know that even though you may have always been told that you don't measure up, you aren't wanted, you aren't qualified - that God says differently? Did you know that we can stand on the Truth...God's Word. He says in John 8:31-32 that "...the truth shall set you free."
So, what might your "gate" be? I know for me, my "gate" has been my past. I have allowed my past to weigh me down and keep me captive and under unnecessary bondage. God has forgiven me, He has moved forward, and is ready to use me for the good. I have allowed certain moments in my past to define me...I must stop living at the gate of defeat. The blood of Jesus (when He died upon the cross for the sins of the world) doesn't give us amnesia! The blood of Jesus, however, gives us freedom from our past! I who have been rescued now has the responsibility to rescue others. Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." It's not about what I am NOT...it is about who He is! The very thing that has kept us on the sidelines of life are the very things that God wants to use for GOOD!
So, my dear friends, stand up...look forward...and realize that God has something really great in store for you. He promises us in Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" God has begun a good work in us...and He promises us that He will be faithful to complete it! He will never abandon us (even when we are confident that He has)...and He will use our bad and turn it into good!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Think About It...
Everything begins with a thought. It is a positive thought or a negative thought. Either way, they begin to mold the direction of which our life goes. These thoughts are not more powerful than God, though. God knows our every thoughts. He understands us and knows what makes us tick. He tells us in the Bible that He wants us to live our lives to the fullest with joy and exceeding abundance. God intended for His creation to enjoy life--not dread it. We need to captivate our thought life...II Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations [assumptions], and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God [those things that become more important than God...good or bad], and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ [ask God for forgiveness, and for wisdom, and give God that obstacle]."
Now, captivating your thought life is much easier said than done. Did you know we think about 60,000 thoughts every day? (how does someone track that?) Anyway, by aligning our thoughts according to what God says, we find true joy. A healthy thought life begins first and foremost with gratitude. We need to give thanks daily...not just in front of an amazing feast on Thanksgiving day, though that is equally as important. We need to give thanks for the things we already have...for the blessings God has given us...and even give thanks for the things we don't have yet, but know God will provide.
God encourages us to approach His throne [meaning when you pray, you "enter His presence"] with thanksgiving and confidence. He also encourages us to ASK. I am sure you have heard the expression, "ask and ye shall receive"...well, it's more than an expression, it's scripture. God wants us to approach Him with boldness and confidence, yet humbly and respectfully. God is a God of love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. He wants us to experience life to its fullest.
My "thought factory" is staffed with a lot of overtime workers! Haha! I find that my mind is always going. Though I may not be able to control the amount of thoughts that I have every day, I am able to direct them to a positive place. I can turn a negative thought into a positive one...but it is a choice. Sometimes I prefer to roll around in the self-pity of my negative thoughts. I notice that when I do, I lose an productivity, optimism, and hope. When I choose to center my thought life around what is true...I am happier, at peace, and more productive.
Phil. 4:8 says this about our thought life..."Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." So...if it is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report...I find that if my thoughts are negative in nature, they usually will not fit within the guidelines of this verse. It is a process to change your thought life. I have had such a negative thought life for so long. It's a comfortable place where me, myself, and I hang out and talk about how bad this is, or how much I was hurt by this...me, me, me. When I shift that focus to other people, my thoughts begin to shift...they begin to change from selfish to selfless. It's a daily battle, but I am working on it.
Now, captivating your thought life is much easier said than done. Did you know we think about 60,000 thoughts every day? (how does someone track that?) Anyway, by aligning our thoughts according to what God says, we find true joy. A healthy thought life begins first and foremost with gratitude. We need to give thanks daily...not just in front of an amazing feast on Thanksgiving day, though that is equally as important. We need to give thanks for the things we already have...for the blessings God has given us...and even give thanks for the things we don't have yet, but know God will provide.
God encourages us to approach His throne [meaning when you pray, you "enter His presence"] with thanksgiving and confidence. He also encourages us to ASK. I am sure you have heard the expression, "ask and ye shall receive"...well, it's more than an expression, it's scripture. God wants us to approach Him with boldness and confidence, yet humbly and respectfully. God is a God of love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. He wants us to experience life to its fullest.
My "thought factory" is staffed with a lot of overtime workers! Haha! I find that my mind is always going. Though I may not be able to control the amount of thoughts that I have every day, I am able to direct them to a positive place. I can turn a negative thought into a positive one...but it is a choice. Sometimes I prefer to roll around in the self-pity of my negative thoughts. I notice that when I do, I lose an productivity, optimism, and hope. When I choose to center my thought life around what is true...I am happier, at peace, and more productive.
Phil. 4:8 says this about our thought life..."Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." So...if it is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report...I find that if my thoughts are negative in nature, they usually will not fit within the guidelines of this verse. It is a process to change your thought life. I have had such a negative thought life for so long. It's a comfortable place where me, myself, and I hang out and talk about how bad this is, or how much I was hurt by this...me, me, me. When I shift that focus to other people, my thoughts begin to shift...they begin to change from selfish to selfless. It's a daily battle, but I am working on it.
Monday, July 11, 2011
INSANITY...
Just when I think I just may have arrived...or that I am "in the clear"...I am abruptly reminded that without God's strength in my life, I will only return to those things that weigh me down. You know the definition of insanity right?? Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome...I can't tell you how many times I have approached my relationship with Christ doing the same things over and over yet hoping that some how, some way my outcome would be different! I can't tell you how many times I have been in situations...got out of those situations...only to find myself right smack dab in the middle of the same situation all over again! Whew...what a vicious cycle. It's a cycle that I have really got to get a handle on. I need to change...and I don't mean an "insane" change...wow, what an oxymoron! Haha! I am seeking a genuine change...one that transforms me from the very core of my being. I am in the beginning stages of this deep change. It's uncomfortable at times, and I would be lying if I said that doing right all the time is super easy...and that I just never have any temptations or desires that are wrong...yeah, that would be a HUGE lie! The difference in before and in now is, I am really making a genuine effort to change the vicious cycle I have been in bondage to for so many years.
Some of my friends who may read this may find themselves very confused. I have not lived a life that has pointed to any type of Christianity in a very long time. I haven't been the witness I was created to be. Instead, I just blended in...took part in...and never included God! For that, I am very sorry. I should have been different...stronger...more unashamed. I also know that I was going through a very long season of just not wanting to do anything related to Christ, God, the church, people associated with the church, ministry...well, you get the picture. I found myself more enamored by the lifestyle of partying and just having fun (however, there were times that weren't so fun...whew). I do not offer excuses for my past. I do know this...even though I was rebellious and completely away from God...he never left my side...he never forsook (left or abandoned) me...and even more mind-blowing, he never stopped loving me unconditionally-even when I wanted nothing to do with him! Wow...that is unconditional!
Some of you may be thinking..."what has happened to Jennifer?"..."why is she all of the sudden so 'churchy'?"...well, those are fair questions! I will tell you what has happened to me. It starts with my "DNA"...or rather the make-up of where I came from...I grew up in a Christian home...no wait, let me go a little further...I grew up as a pastor's kid...an independent, fundamental baptist pastor's kid...a very strict, but loving home. All I ever knew was God's love...the stories in the Bible...and I had parents who loved each other and their four girls very much. I didn't grow up in an abusive home, nor did I grow up in a home that I hated. I was a good kid, actually. I went to Christian Schools throughout my childhood until I graduated...then I went off to Baptist Bible College to study music. I was the girl that was expected to be "perfect" forever...(I was NEVER perfect...not even close...just seemed like I was super duper good to some of my friend's parents...therefore, I became the "example" for all the other kids...whew, that was a lot of pressure). I remained faithful to God throughout my college years, and even in my early twenties. I joined a Christian music traveling group out of Atlanta, Georgia when I was 24...traveled and sang about the God I served.
Something happened between 24-26...I strayed from God, bottom line...I don't need to offer excuses or tell you exactly what happened...but for about 7 years I lived away from God...intentionally! I am not proud of it...but I do know that God promises that everything I have been through can and will be used for good. I hope that with the things that I have been through, God can allow my story touch other people's life...I am able to relate to hurts that maybe at one point i may not have been able to understand. And guess what...when God promises us something...it is a promise. God promises that the good work He began in me He will be faithful to complete it...in other words, He created me for good...and even though I got off track, He will bring me back to Him and finish that good work!
Life is so short...I have allowed time to fall through my fingers like sand. It's time to spend every day filled with meaning and purpose. I get a chance to touch lives and make a difference, and you know what, I am going to humbly take that opportunity and run with it! =)
Some of my friends who may read this may find themselves very confused. I have not lived a life that has pointed to any type of Christianity in a very long time. I haven't been the witness I was created to be. Instead, I just blended in...took part in...and never included God! For that, I am very sorry. I should have been different...stronger...more unashamed. I also know that I was going through a very long season of just not wanting to do anything related to Christ, God, the church, people associated with the church, ministry...well, you get the picture. I found myself more enamored by the lifestyle of partying and just having fun (however, there were times that weren't so fun...whew). I do not offer excuses for my past. I do know this...even though I was rebellious and completely away from God...he never left my side...he never forsook (left or abandoned) me...and even more mind-blowing, he never stopped loving me unconditionally-even when I wanted nothing to do with him! Wow...that is unconditional!
Some of you may be thinking..."what has happened to Jennifer?"..."why is she all of the sudden so 'churchy'?"...well, those are fair questions! I will tell you what has happened to me. It starts with my "DNA"...or rather the make-up of where I came from...I grew up in a Christian home...no wait, let me go a little further...I grew up as a pastor's kid...an independent, fundamental baptist pastor's kid...a very strict, but loving home. All I ever knew was God's love...the stories in the Bible...and I had parents who loved each other and their four girls very much. I didn't grow up in an abusive home, nor did I grow up in a home that I hated. I was a good kid, actually. I went to Christian Schools throughout my childhood until I graduated...then I went off to Baptist Bible College to study music. I was the girl that was expected to be "perfect" forever...(I was NEVER perfect...not even close...just seemed like I was super duper good to some of my friend's parents...therefore, I became the "example" for all the other kids...whew, that was a lot of pressure). I remained faithful to God throughout my college years, and even in my early twenties. I joined a Christian music traveling group out of Atlanta, Georgia when I was 24...traveled and sang about the God I served.
Something happened between 24-26...I strayed from God, bottom line...I don't need to offer excuses or tell you exactly what happened...but for about 7 years I lived away from God...intentionally! I am not proud of it...but I do know that God promises that everything I have been through can and will be used for good. I hope that with the things that I have been through, God can allow my story touch other people's life...I am able to relate to hurts that maybe at one point i may not have been able to understand. And guess what...when God promises us something...it is a promise. God promises that the good work He began in me He will be faithful to complete it...in other words, He created me for good...and even though I got off track, He will bring me back to Him and finish that good work!
Life is so short...I have allowed time to fall through my fingers like sand. It's time to spend every day filled with meaning and purpose. I get a chance to touch lives and make a difference, and you know what, I am going to humbly take that opportunity and run with it! =)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
YOU ARE SOOOO MUCH MORE...DID YOU KNOW THAT??
Have you ever heard the song by Tenth Avenue North called "You Are More"? One thing that you will learn about me very quickly is that music is so very influential in my life. I am moved by music. I feel that it speaks to me in so many ways. Therefore, I will be sharing a lot of songs with you! =) Anyway, back to "You Are More"...read these lyrics!
There's a girl in the corner With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are, What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel, But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Wow...these lyrics shake me at my core. I can't tell you how encouraged I was by this song. It made me realize that God doesn't see anything but ME...He doesn't see my sin(s). How beautiful is that? If you are reading this, and you aren't sure what I am talking about...if you have any questions about God's love and how He loves you and sees you as a beautiful person, please talk to me about it! Message me, email me...call me! I would love to chat with you. If you are someone who does know about God's love but you feel that He doesn't see you as the beauty you are, please message me, email me,or call me. I would love to talk with you...pray with you and just encourage you!
There's a girl in the corner With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are, What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel, But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Wow...these lyrics shake me at my core. I can't tell you how encouraged I was by this song. It made me realize that God doesn't see anything but ME...He doesn't see my sin(s). How beautiful is that? If you are reading this, and you aren't sure what I am talking about...if you have any questions about God's love and how He loves you and sees you as a beautiful person, please talk to me about it! Message me, email me...call me! I would love to chat with you. If you are someone who does know about God's love but you feel that He doesn't see you as the beauty you are, please message me, email me,or call me. I would love to talk with you...pray with you and just encourage you!
The Beginning of a Transformation...
There is a song written and sung by Nichole Nordeman called "The Alter"...These are the lyrics:
I'm at the end of myself
I dropped out of the running
I don't recall when I last pulled the shades and said
Here comes the sun
Here comes a new day.
Someone remind me again
That joy might show up on occassion
See I'm sitting here with my hands on my head
And my eyes on the ground
Wondering if I'll be found tonight
Will You make me new?
Will You take what's left of me?
See I guarentee that it won't be a fair trade
Will You set me free?
From what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before
But I'm back on the altar
I don't believe what they say
About one foot in front of the other
If my life was a map you'd see every last step
Just circling around, still lost, never found
Maybe last year I made empty promises
Maybe last month I've tried to pull strings
But I don't have one single chip left to bargain with
The only thing left is me needing You
Will You make me new?
Will You take what's left of me?
See I guarantee that it won't be a fair trade
Will You set me free?
From what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before
But I'm back on the altar
These words resonate in my heart...they describe the very struggle I go through every day...many times a day. I am always "back on the altar". It's a good thing my God is so patient with me. If He wasn't, I would be doomed!
So the next few things I talk about are things that are slowly beginning to transform my life back to God. It's a process...one of which I need to be reminded of daily!
I had this particular quote in my journal that I wrote in back in 2006. I didn't list who the author of the quote was, so I apologize for that! It says, "If we do not allow God to deal with every part of our past, our hurts, our secrets, our errors in judgment, our mistakes, our sins, or the handicaps in our background, ANY ONE OF THEM CAN BE LIKE A HIBERNATING BEAR."
Wow, this statement couldn't be more true! If I would have allowed God to really deal with every single part of my past, a lot of the decisions I have made and paths I have chosen to take would have been so different. However, my journey is what it is...I believe that every single moment of my life will be used for GOOD!
I am facing my emotional baggage head on...it's not easy to do. There is a lot of humbling, a lot of letting down walls, a lot of uncomfortable moments. At times, I don't feel like I am ready at all. Change is not easy!! Emotional baggage keeps a person from being the kind of person God wants them to be; from doing what God calls them to do; paralyzed with doubt, fear, and self recrimination; from developing a healthy self image. I am learning that it takes straight up courage to put down emotional baggage. There is absolutely NO benefit in continuing to carry emotional burdens. I find NO good reason to hang on to what slows me down, keeps me from feeling free, or stops me from experiencing the fullness of life that God has prepared for me to live.
John 8:36 says, "If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
I'm at the end of myself
I dropped out of the running
I don't recall when I last pulled the shades and said
Here comes the sun
Here comes a new day.
Someone remind me again
That joy might show up on occassion
See I'm sitting here with my hands on my head
And my eyes on the ground
Wondering if I'll be found tonight
Will You make me new?
Will You take what's left of me?
See I guarentee that it won't be a fair trade
Will You set me free?
From what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before
But I'm back on the altar
I don't believe what they say
About one foot in front of the other
If my life was a map you'd see every last step
Just circling around, still lost, never found
Maybe last year I made empty promises
Maybe last month I've tried to pull strings
But I don't have one single chip left to bargain with
The only thing left is me needing You
Will You make me new?
Will You take what's left of me?
See I guarantee that it won't be a fair trade
Will You set me free?
From what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before
But I'm back on the altar
These words resonate in my heart...they describe the very struggle I go through every day...many times a day. I am always "back on the altar". It's a good thing my God is so patient with me. If He wasn't, I would be doomed!
So the next few things I talk about are things that are slowly beginning to transform my life back to God. It's a process...one of which I need to be reminded of daily!
I had this particular quote in my journal that I wrote in back in 2006. I didn't list who the author of the quote was, so I apologize for that! It says, "If we do not allow God to deal with every part of our past, our hurts, our secrets, our errors in judgment, our mistakes, our sins, or the handicaps in our background, ANY ONE OF THEM CAN BE LIKE A HIBERNATING BEAR."
Wow, this statement couldn't be more true! If I would have allowed God to really deal with every single part of my past, a lot of the decisions I have made and paths I have chosen to take would have been so different. However, my journey is what it is...I believe that every single moment of my life will be used for GOOD!
I am facing my emotional baggage head on...it's not easy to do. There is a lot of humbling, a lot of letting down walls, a lot of uncomfortable moments. At times, I don't feel like I am ready at all. Change is not easy!! Emotional baggage keeps a person from being the kind of person God wants them to be; from doing what God calls them to do; paralyzed with doubt, fear, and self recrimination; from developing a healthy self image. I am learning that it takes straight up courage to put down emotional baggage. There is absolutely NO benefit in continuing to carry emotional burdens. I find NO good reason to hang on to what slows me down, keeps me from feeling free, or stops me from experiencing the fullness of life that God has prepared for me to live.
John 8:36 says, "If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
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