Forgiveness Street Or Resentment Avenue?

We only have two options when we are faced with a difficult situation. We can either forgive or resent. I can speak from personal experience when I tell you that for about 8 years, I chose to resent. I was hurt by people that I trusted and cared deeply for. I had a choice. I came to a crossroad of Forgiveness Street and Resentment Avenue. I chose to stroll down Resentment Avenue, found a filthy rundown apartment, moved my heart in there, and lived for almost 8 years. It was a cold, damp place. It was infested with disfunctional, destroying, poisonous black mold. It made me sick and unhappy. I was left always feeling sorry for myself. It destroyed the condition of my heart to the point of almost death.

Now I realize that is quite a dramatic picture of how resentment and bitterness can destroy your heart, but it isn't far from the truth. I have heard bitterness best described this way, "Bitterness is YOU drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies". Resentment/Bitterness will eat the very life out of your soul. I know, because it happened to me. I held on to my hurt as if it was MINE. I wasn't willing or ready to allow God to take that hurt from me and mend my heart. I think in my mind I viewed it as, if I forgave those people it essentially was saying that it was okay that they hurt me. Like I gave them a free pass to destroy my life. So, for years I would have moments when I wanted to let go of the hurt and pain and hatred that I had in my heart...yet my clenched fists would not let it go.

I continued this exhausting cycle for so long. I was dying inside. My soul was hollow and my heart was cold. I allowed the bitterness and resentment slowly envelope my heart like a boah constrictor or a wild vine growing around my heart...and it would gradually become tighter and tighter until I could no longer breathe. I was suffocating. The constriction of resentment almost claimed my life...however, God saw it differently. As I have shared in more detail in my post that was written in March 2012 titled "A Journey Within A Journey" (if you haven't read that post, drop by and read it...it will help you understand where I am coming from a little better), I had a very special and very real God moment in November of 2011. God reached down and rescued me. Of course I speak metaphorically. After that moment, God began remolding me, restoring me, mending my broken heart that was shattered into a million tiny pieces.

I arrived at a point in my life where I came to another crossroad...it looked very familiar, as if I had been here before. Forgiveness Street and Resentment Avenue. This time, I chose to go down Forgiveness Street. I began walking down the well-kept street...people were outside of their houses working in their yards, smiling, whistling. I even had some people welcome me and wave to me. I came to my new apartment...as I walked through the door I was released of this heavy burden I had been carrying around. I felt so much lighter and free. I noticed that this apartment was brighter. The sunshine was peeking through the windows. It had a fresh coat of paint, newly waxed hardwood floors, brand new carpet. I noticed that my hands were no longer clenched tight...they were open and free. I began to whistle...I began to laugh and smile...I began to sing again.

You see, when I chose to forgive - I WAS SET FREE. When I asked God to take my hurt and pain, He did. He began to heal me from the inside. He took my heart that was so cold and close to death and began massaging it back to life. My heart began to beat again...it warmed up and began to feel love again. He changed my view, too. He helped me see through His eyes and gave me compassion for the very people that I hated so much and that hurt me so deeply. He restored my heart to love again. I didn't need an apology from them. I didn't need anything from them. God filled that need, guided me through the process of forgiveness, and softened my heart. I forgave the very people who hurt me.

There is a quote about forgiveness that I like a lot. It says this, "Forgiving is not forgetting. It's letting go of the hurt." God healed my hurt. There is a song by Mercy Me called "The Hurt and the Healer". Listen to it sometime, it is incredible. I especially like these lyrics from the song:

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Throughout my healing process, I’ve learned what we hold against someone else will only wind up hurting ourselves. God chose to take my hurt and bring it full circle. Just recently I was able to hear those words "I am so sorry" from one who hurt me so deeply. You know what is so beautiful about this fact? You might say, "oh the beautiful part is a no-brainer...it was hearing your offender say 'I'm so sorry'"...Not at all. You see, I already forgave. I already resolved in my heart that I didn't need to hear those words in order to release my pain and resentment. The beautiful part of it was this: I was able to extend grace and mercy to that person. I was able to extend love and compassion. I no longer inhabited the filthy rundown apartment on Resentment Avenue...that place had been demolished. It doesn't even exist anymore. I moved to the other side of town on Forgiveness Street. I was able to tell this person, with a genuine spirit and heart, that I loved them. That is ONLY of God. He is the Healer...He can take away your hurt and pain of your past, or it could possibly be of your present. He can heal your heart and make it new again. I know this because it happened to me.

Colossians 3:13 NLT says this, "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Another great Scripture is found in Hebrews 8:12 NLT, "And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins." Wow! How humbling! Remember this as you face a situation where you come to the crossroads of Forgiveness Street and Resentment Avenue...Matthew 6:14 NLT, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you."

There isn't anything in this world worth holding on to. There isn't a grudge, bitterness, anger or pain worth stealing your true joy. Take it from me, it's just not worth it. It only hurts YOU! I can promise you this...when you make that choice to forgive, you change from within, and your joy is restored. It takes a strong person to say I am sorry...but it takes an even stronger person to forgive. So, what is your choice...Forgiveness Street or Resentment Avenue? It's up to you!

Love you, dear friend! :)