Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
~Henry David Thoreau

When it came to dreaming, my dad and I were two peas in a pod! We always found ourselves talking about things we wished we could do, places we wished we could see. Just before he got really sick and had to go to the hospital the very last time, I remember we were sitting in the living room and we started joking about winning the lottery...then it began. We started dreaming about what we would do with the money. I think we probably sat there for about 30 minutes just spouting out extravagant scenarios and how we would do great things for other people with all of our newly acquired fortune! How he would get the Cadillac that he always wanted, and how I would find the perfect Loft Apartment in NYC. It produced this warm fuzzy atmosphere...filled of hope and dreams...then, BAM!!! My mom, being the realist she is, would interject with how unlikely it would really be for us to win any kind of lottery...you know, the glass half-empty, "Debbie-Downer" kind of talk. Dad and I would hassle her, spouting off more ridiculous scenarios, how we should just go drive up to the gas station and buy some tickets, hear her unmistakable “sigh”, then look at each other and just laugh. My Dad and I just "got" each other. Dreamers understand and can identify with other dreamers. My Dad and I shared a common ground. He moved from Kentucky to Michigan to learn how to be a mechanic when he was just 15 years old. I graduated from High School when I was 16 and moved from Ohio to Missouri to go to school to study music. I guess you could describe me as a "free spirit". I mean, it should make complete sense...I am the baby of the family. The babies of the family are kind of known for being "free spirits"...along with other more inaccurate assumptions!! ;) I wasn't spoiled!! My parents did not "spare the rod and spoil the child". I definitely got my share of spankings growing up! (I even had to choose my own switch once when I was 5…I learned the hard way that smaller was NOT better!)

I just love the fact that God made each and every one of us so uniquely. Even though my mom is quite the realist, it helped even out my dad's dreaming tendencies! Of course in my eyes, I viewed my mom's realism as a party pooper! Now that I have grown and experienced more in my life, I realize that her realism is very necessary at times.

Back to our being made uniquely by God...I love the fact that God knew me before I was ever even in my mother's womb. He knit me together...the dreaming aspect of who I am and all. He specifically knitted me together with the passion for music and to worship Him with my voice. He knitted me together with the love to draw and paint and most of all mindlessly doodle. He knitted me together with the very genuine love I have for people. From the time I was old enough to talk, I never met a stranger. I loved everybody. (**insert my realist mom again...she about DIED whenever I would talk to a complete stranger, just knowing that I would get kidnapped someday. By God's grace, I was never kidnapped!**) God also knitted me together with a desire to worship Him, to encourage others, to allow the things that have happened in my life to bring Him glory in order to point others who are also hurting directly to the One who rescued me.

Every day I seem to discover something else about myself that will either make me crack up, humble me, or annoy me to no end. For instance, I am quite the perfectionist. I like to pretend that I am not...but because I am a perfectionist, even that isn't acceptable. I am really, really good with remembering people's names. (It's creepy) I am a list-maker. I will say "GOOD TIMES" when usually it actually isn't. I will crack jokes more often in an uncomfortable situation. I have a nervous giggle...I am completely aware when I am doing it...yet I cannot seem to stop **nervous giggle**. I smile a lot. I will literally have people say to me, "Where are you from? You aren't from here,” (NYC) “because you smile too much!" I am typically a happy, carefree, jovial person who genuinely cares about other people. I treasure friendship and will protect it to the end. I am a "big picture" person, who finds complete satisfaction in achieving the details along the way. I don't mind staying late for work or for a friend...but LOATHE having to come in super early or meet someone super early in the morning! I am a pen snob...I only like certain pens. (That may or may not be a little OCD--but I may or may not have come to terms with this! Ha!) I am quick to forgive, love, and share. All three tend to bite me in the butt at times...but after being so closed off to my emotions for so long, it feels amazing to be vulnerable and open again. I really want people to like me. I may act like it doesn't matter, but inside I really wish it were different. I will sing my sentences when I am overwhelmed. I cannot stand clutter on my desk, in my drawers, under my bed, in my closet. I like organization (I blame my mother for that one!!)...yet I am spontaneous. I describe my hairstyle at times as "organized chaos". I will make my bed at night before I get in it...hey, don't judge! ;) The list is really endless.

I share these things because I think it is amazing how God creates all of us so differently with unique talents, passions, dreams, and goals. When God created me, I would like to believe He blew the attitude of a "free spirit" into my being. We all have completely different strengths...yet we are all given a chance to enhance what we have been blessed with, and even better we are given chances to develop other areas of our life that we are a little weaker in.

Each one of us are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are hand-crafted in His image...yet so wonderfully unique. I am learning to embrace the things that annoy me; learning to thank God for the things that humble me; and taking the time to smile at the things that crack me up. We are all beautiful in our own special way.

Jeremiah 1:5 NIV "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..."